Years ago, an ex of mine told me that I should go out more and socialize more to enjoy life. When we broke up, I did take his advises and tried my best to become a more “social” person. Couples of months passed by and I feel extremely exhausted pretending to be what I’m not equipped to be. I often found myself feel so tired and emotionally drained. Though I have gained a lots of new friends and acquaintances but its was fun while it lasts. I was not meant for that kind of lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoyed spending time with my friends and most of the time I’m 100% happy with them but then again, I didn’t always got to see them or catching up with them that often. I have noticed that I’ve become socially awkward and selective toward getting to know new social environments or people and I will be the one hiding in the corner cowering with my phone. The efforts needed to make a small talks really appalled me. Imagined that you have wanted to eat lunch silently and someone talked to you about things which you feel like rude if you’re not answering but you really don’t want to talk during that moment. Yeah, I have been through that situation so many times until that person told everyone in the office that I’m a snob and racist (and trying to boycott her..tsk). That’s probably why I like to stay in my room alone instead of going out and talk to people or making an efforts to small talks. However, I do also think that I’m selectively social because I can talk non-stop with B discussing about current news, giving away my thoughts and point of view without him asking.
Anyway, I rather stay at home or alone (or with people that I love being with) than go out to socialize. I can spend my whole day by reading ebooks (which I have tons) while drinking my coffee or tea and listening to musics or podcast and I really prefer that kind of lifestyle. I can still enjoy my life eventhough being an introvert. I still love to travel and see around to gain more life experiences and knowledge. So now if someone asked me why I’m not going out, I will simply answer them – “I don’t feel like it and I rather stay at home where there’s no drama”. Hey, ignore what others are saying, it is your life and your choice. So, cheers and embrace your inner introvert! *coffee cup clinked*